Is it weird for me to say that I just can't wait to be a mom? (Don't freak out, parents. I'm not planning on that happening for several years) This morning, Kelsey (one of the summer vol's) and I walked to Farito for preschool. We got to help out with a Mother's Day party they were having. All these precious little ninos came with their madres and sang them cute little songs about how much they love them and then we ate cake and drank coca-cola. I was just melting the whole time. It was just a beautiful thing to witness and to be a small part of - celebrating motherhood, celebrating children. As silly as it sounds, it made me homesick for my own mom and at the same time made me so excited for the day when I get to understand the other part of that relationship dynamic, when I get to understand what it means to love your own child. (Oh gosh, Taylor & Kirsten are going to have a field day mocking me about this post)
On the way home, Kelsey and I nearly had to outrun a flash flood. All the sudden we looked ahead and a river was barreling down the road at us. It was funny because it seemingly came from nowhere. At the top, we stopped and stood by Mi Comarca (our favorite venta) to watch it swallow the whole road. Gabe got off a bus just as we were doing this and I when I saw him, I said "Gabe! This is CRAZY!" and he just laughed and said "Oh, this happens every time there is heavy rain." So funny.
It's been a very busy past few days and I've loved every second of it. Yesterday I got to walk around Chureca a bit before English class, which was super tuani (that's street for "really cool") I walked over to the school before class to play with kids, but I got there too late and they were already done with recess, which was a bummer. The rain made it impossible to take the back road to get in, so we walked that part too. It is crazy to see houses with tin walls covered in soda-advertisements and kids running around with no shoes, etc. What's even crazier is that I have learned that Chureca is actually preferable to other more rural parts of Nicaragua. Don't get me wrong, it's unfathomable poverty. But they have access to running water, a free health clinic, and various NGO's that are in the area. So things are bad, but they are even worse elsewhere. The idea that there are things to be grateful for in Chureca seems unreal, but the more I spend time there, the more I see it as a place of laughing kids and joy than simply a place of extreme darkness.
I've been helping out the past few days at this center for kids with disabilities called Teseros de Dios. It is just the neatest place ever and I love the happy feeling I get simply being there. Their vision is to minister to kids and their families and to create the best possibilities they can for children with physical or mental handicaps. They have a physical therapy room, a bible study center, a horse therapy program, and so much more. It's awesome. Manna doesn't work directly with them, but I heard about it from another volunteer and just decided to check it out. On Wednesday, I went for the first time. Joanna and I helped make some crafts for lessons and spent some time helping Ivania, a staff member with a huge smile and a bigger laugh, with her English homework. I liked it so much that I went back Thursday (yesterday) just to hang out and see how I could help. When I walked in, I couldn't find Michelle anywhere (she's the woman who started the center and the only one who speaks fluent English there), so I thought to myself, "Welp, looks like I'm speaking Spanish today." After explaining myself (or trying to) Ivania came down and finally found me and had a huge smile on her face. We went upstairs to her office and I helped her with some random things for her classes (she also works with a kid who has autism, so I helped make some crafts she will use with him) and she played me "American" music. It was so relaxing and fun to practice my Spanish with her and to in turn help her with English. I'm excited to keep going back.
The center is really close to the Land, so after I left, I walked to Women's Exercise. It's on a really rural road, and as I was walking, the rain was lightly falling and it was very quiet. All of the sudden, I hear a loud "MOOOO!" and turn around. Seriously two feet behind me was a large vaca (cow) and a young boy who couldn't be more than 8. Apparently they had been walking quietly behind me. I screamed a little and then just lost it....it was such a hysterical scene. I think my loud laughter at this probably frightened the boy more than the cow frightened me. Oh well...just a typical Nica stroll, I guess :)
Throughout the past week, I've had thoughts and frustrations in thinking about how my time here matters. It's so easy to think that I'll come in as some privileged super-hero and save the day. Yes, serving other people does make a difference, and I do believe that what Manna is doing and what I'm doing is great and beneficial to these communities. But it's a hard balance to remember that it isn't all about what I'm doing for other people - it's more of what they're doing for me. And when I think about it, service is really about what God is doing, how He's working His plan of redemption out in me and in others daily. I think of a few days ago when I went to 13.5 with Jan and we hung out at Carmen's house. Five people live there, in a space half the size of my bedroom -seriously. And God, are they happy. And just having those moments of realization...that is what is changing me. What is changing me is people's kindness when I did nothing to earn it. What is changing me is little Tatiana braiding my hair, or my friend at House of Hope who gave me the bible verse, and the people at the disabilities center who welcomed me with open arms.
As I was in Ivania's office yesterday, I was thinking about all these things, and thinking of the ways that God is using this trip to make me more like Himself. While she was playing me Avril Lavigne and R.E.M., Ivania was having me paint these little yellow circles and then draw on happy faces. And as I was doing that, I had to chuckle to myself, because here I was in Nicaragua, literally creating a new smile.
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